Kris Kristofferson sang exquisitely of this love.  His words could be sung in a bar, a church singles group, an office party, or almost anywhere else lonely people meet.  It promises little besides a moment of love.  But it promises something else as well – honesty.  No one is kidding anyone.  This is not going anywhere past morning. 

Take the ribbon from your hair, shake it loose and let it fall,
Layin’ soft upon my skin. like the shadows on the wall.

Come and lay down by my side till the early morning light
All I’m takin’ is your time. help me make it through the night.
I don’t care what’s right or wrong, I don’t try to understand.
Let the devil take tomorrow. lord, tonight I need a friend.

Yesterday is dead and gone and tomorrow’s out of sight.
And it’s sad to be alone. help me make it through the night.

I don’t care what’s right or wrong, (yes, I do !)
I don’t try to understand.
Let the devil take tomorrow. lord, tonight I need a friend.

Yesterday is dead and gone and tomorrow’s out of sight.
Lord, it’s bad to be alone. help me make it through the night.

But it is not for nothing.  It is love, says Kristofferson, however momentary and limited.  And it is better than nothing.  It is not using but sharing, and it doesn’t lie.  Maybe love doesn’t have to be infinite and eternal.  Maybe it just has to be love. 

Jesus said that God is love.  Is God so stingy as to withhold his blessing from the moments of live in life?  People have been changed by a relationship like that.  They were discouraged and giving up, then some warm arms and caring kisses hinted that all is not lost – love may continue, even with someone else in another time and place.  And the people did go on.  They made it through the night.

Back in marriage:  Ozzie and Harriet don’t always make it last, for whatever reason.  They end up in divorce.  Often it is bitter, with fights over property and children.  Love has turned to rancor and even to hate.  How do we deal with divorce, and other break-ups?

Can they be still loving?  Can two people still care?  Can they kiss and say “Goodbye?”

Kristofferson believed that they could.

Don't look so sad, I know it's over.
But life goes on, and this old world will keep on turning.
Let's just be glad we had some time to spend together.
There's no need to watch the bridges that we're burning.

Lay your head upon my pillow.
Hold your warm and tender body close to mine.
Hear the whisper of the raindrops,
Blowin' soft against the window,
And make believe you love me one more time,
For the good times.

I'll get along; you'll find another,
And I'll be here if you should find you ever need me.
Don't say a word about tomorrow or forever,
There'll be time enough for sadness when you leave me.

Lay your head upon my pillow.
Hold your warm and tender body close to mine.
Hear the whisper of the raindrops,
Blowin' soft against the window,
And make believe you love me one more time,
For the good times.

He believed that people can separate lovingly and with respect.  Why give up the love with the ending of the relationship?  I’ve seen those rare divorces that worked, that were loving and caring.  I know it is possible.  But they are rare. 

There is one element in these less than infinite, less than everlasting loves.  It is a lack of ownership.

Love is not ownership.  Love is not possessive, even though many of our relationships are.  Possessiveness is even often considered an expected aspect of love. 

Ownership destroys relationships and people more broadly than in the examples above.  A broad study was made a few years back of men who had raped their daughters.  This is not rare.  It is the most common form of rape.

The study found that they crossed all class lines and all racial lines.  All geographical lines and religious lines.  They found only constant – each of them said that the girl was his daughter and he felt he could do whatever he wanted to her.  He owned her. 

Love is not possessive.  It leaves the loved one free.  Indeed, it should produce a greater freedom in both people. 

Today as we are assaulted by religious groups which worship legal relationships more than they worship God, and impose rigid rules on relationships, we are returning to ownership marriages.  They are preaching again that the man should be obedient to God and the woman to her husband.  That is ownership.